This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.